


Pure, Honest, Innocent Fun

by hipster-yams (madamedicelia)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Hand Jobs, Hate Sex, Intercrural Sex, Lemon, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sexual Tension, Trans Character, can't wake up (wake me up inside), forgive me lord for i have sinned, i mean it might have some plot, if you squint really hard - Freeform, such a pure title and summary and then all the porn tags, this is probably crack tbh, this is pure sin, this is such sin, wake me up (wake me up inside)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-05
Updated: 2016-07-05
Packaged: 2018-07-21 15:09:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7392286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madamedicelia/pseuds/hipster-yams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tetsurou gets invited to a party by some first year he doesn't even know and meets his worst (favorite) enemy. They have pure and wholesome fun : - )</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Sin

**Author's Note:**

> i should be writing gifts for my friends but instead i chose to sin
> 
> i gave this a once over, threw it at my beta, and dumped it here. take my filth
> 
>  
> 
> ~~im asexual whats a sex scene how do dicks work~~

Tetsurou frowned disdainfully at the table. There were three large bottles of some expensive fruit juice (of a brand Tetsurou enjoys deeply) strayed along the edge. Sitting uncapped in the middle of the rickety table were a giant plastic bottle of vodka and a half empty glass bottle of fireball whiskey. 

“Fucking newbs,” Tetsurou muttered, grabbing a red Solo cup. First time party throwers went all out on nice juices and sodas but, generally being underage, could only acquire cheap alcohol. Judging by the bright orange sale sticker on the side of the vodka, it definitely tasted like battery acid. 

Shifting over until his body blocked the table, Tetsurou pretended to pour the vodka in his cup. Just before the liquid reached the lip of the bottle, he slammed it on the table. Taking a surreptitious look to his sides, he filled his cup with grape juice. 

“Ta-da!” he announced, holding up his cup. “The best mixed drink of the night!”

The rest of the partygoers cheered and cleared him a seat in the middle of the action. Tetsurou chatted with his new acquaintances, trying to be friendly while searching the room for a familiar face. 

What was the name of the kid that invited him here? Leif? Leg? Something like that. He seemed to think Tetsurou was “cool” and threw a progressive party in his name to prove his own coolness. 

Tetsurou just felt awkward. He didn’t know many people but everyone knew him. Who knew he was so popular? Who knew middle blocker chem majors could get so renown on a college campus?

What’s even more awkward is the theme. Rubik’s cube. Everyone came dressed in block colors and at every stop, one swapped clothing with someone else. The goal at the end of the night was to end up dressed in a singular color. Tetsurou wasn’t sure how he felt about changing clothes with strangers but didn’t want to let the kid down. Leg had looked so hopeful. Also, he was persistent as all hell. 

Tetsurou sipped his grape juice, enjoying the flavor. He didn’t have a fridge in his dorm so such high quality juices like this were a rarity. When he stopped zoning out into his violet beverage, he realized a drinking game had started. He grimaced when he figured out with was Cheers To The Governor. Essentially, the circle counts to 21, with 7 and 14 switched. Once one round is complete, another rule is added. If you mess up, you drink. 

Miraculously, they made it through five rounds before someone messed up. The heat of the people in the small room was weighing on Tetsurou. Once he heard the person mess up, he chugged his juice. He licked the sweet beverage off his lips before smacking them loudly. 

“Kuroo, Kuroo!” someone chanted. Tetsurou looked around in confusion before realizing it looked like he had just chugged a hardy amount of alcohol. The rest of the group joined in raucously. Tetsurou warily smiled and held up his cup. He was in too deep to tell the truth now.

The chanting tapered off before the game started again. Someone passed Tetsurou a beer and he accepted, not even opening the can. 

The door swung open in the middle of the next round. Newcomers. A few people Tetsurou didn’t recognize. Then, one he knew all too well. They met eyes and glared, sizing each other up. The snakebites were new but his hair was parted the same way Tetsurou had last seen him. His narrow eyes with their mischievous glean shone in the low light. Tetsurou was so preoccupied with his staring contest, he didn’t realize it was his turn. 

“Uh, 14?” he guessed with a sigh. 

His neighbor made a buzzer noise and the whole room, yelled, “Cheers to the governor!”

Daishou stuck out his tongue. It was bifurcated. 

Tetsurou ripped open his beer and chugged half of it. He was not dealing with Daishou today. Not fucking today. 

The party tried a few more rounds of the drinking game but their level of intoxication barred them from making it through a whole round. Tetsurou still felt level headed but his limbs were loosening up. The alcohol always hit his body before his mind. 

Tetsurou tried to focus on the conversations around him but his eyes kept wandering back to Daishou. The guy filled him with fiery annoyance. It was hard to concentrate on the chatter. Not to mention, the people had long dissolved into meaningless drunken blather. He noticed Daishou didn’t take a single sip of alcohol. 

“Switch!” someone yelled suddenly. Maybe it was Leg. What did he look like again?

Tetsurou frowned in confusion as people started stripping. Ah yes, the Rubik’s cube theme. 

He glanced at Daishou, almost with meaning to. He was taking his shoes off. Kuroo inwardly sighed. Not so spicy then. After that thought, he made a face. Why did he care what Daishou was doing or whether he was stripping? 

Someone tapped his shoulder, asking to exchange clothing and Tetsurou agreed distractedly. A light piece of clothing was dropped in his hand. He shook his head of his thoughts and examined it. It was a skirt. 

“Been a while since I worn one of these,” he muttered. He slipped it on over his jeans. It was a bit tight but doable. The girl looked at him expectantly. Oh yeah, she needs his pants.

“Uh, here you go,” Tetsurou said, handing her his pants. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Daishou bend over and his pants slip right off. He swallowed hard and didn’t even think to ask for her number to get his pants back.

“We’re moving!” Tetsurou saw a short person standing on the table, clapping his hands and pointing at the door. “Get a move on!”

Tetsurou downed the remainder of his beer and left the can on his chair. He was quickly swept up in the crowd. He kept an eye out for Daishou but luckily they were at opposite ends of the pack. That irked him for reasons he couldn’t fully explain.

The next stop was someone’s dorm. It was way too small to fit everyone and the air immediately grew warm and muggy from all the bodies. Tetsurou found himself pressed into a corner next to the drinks table. He was uncomfortable and hot but smiled when he saw there was still some grape juice left. He took a swig straight from the bottle and polished off the remnants. 

“Tangy,” he sighed, putting the bottle down.

“Not exactly the greeting I was expecting but I accept the compliment.”

Tetsurou jolted, hitting his shoulder into the shoulder. He hoped he didn’t leave a dent. Daishou smirked at him and winked in satisfaction.

“Oh I’m sorry, are we comparing ourselves to drinks? Then you would be this.” Tetsurou picked up the battery acid vodka and swished it in the bottle. “Undrinkable, cheap, and all around horrible.”

Daishou took the bottle from his hand and took a drink. He coughed and slammed it back on the table. His eyes were watering. “But you would still take me when the mood’s right,” he hissed. 

Tetsurou snorted. “Yeah, in the mood to kill myself slowly.”

“Is this how you treat an old friend?” Daishou pouted.

Tetsurou rolled his eyes. He met Daishou sometime in middle school during volleyball. They always ended up on opposite sides of the net. Daishou’s dirty tricks pissed Tetsurou off from the first day. When puberty hit and Tetsurou just looked awkward while on hormone blockers, Daishou got _hot_. It made Tetsurou’s annoyance towards him skyrocket.

Daishou leaned closer, fluttering his eyelashes. Tetsurou knew he was just winding him up but the closeness of his body made Tetsurou shiver despite the heat. 

“You and I both know you’re not drunk enough to act like this,” Tetsurou deadpanned. The weird lightness in his body did not diminish.

Daishou jerked back with a grimace. It quickly melted into a grin. “Does that mean you’ve been watching me all night?”

Tetsurou’s eyes widened. He had made an error. A trivial slip of the tongue that only someone with one as sharp as Daishou’s would catch. 

“Hana _macking on yo man!_ ” someone shouted, before bumping into Daishou. His light strawberry blonde hair shined in the rainbow fairy light adorning the room. He leaned into someone with dark curly and started kissing him, all tongues and saliva. Daishou’s offended and shocked expression made Tetsurou snicker.

“Makki, you _are_ my man,” said the guy with curly hair, leading away the redhead. 

Tetsurou furrowed his eyebrows in confusion but welcomed the escape from the conversation topic. 

“And why did _you_ hunt me down into this tiny corner?” Tetsurou purred. “Isn’t there anywhere else you’d rather be than with me?”

Daishou bared his teeth and leaned into Tetsurou’s face. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” 

Theoretically, it was gross because Tetsurou could smell the apple juice and vodka on his warm breath but at the same time, it was the hottest thing Tetsurou had ever felt. Daishou’s half-lidded eyes hid that fact that his pupils were blown wide with attraction. His lips looked soft and pink. Tetsurou wanted to know how that bifurcated tongue would feel.

Tetsurou inhaled deeply as the heat spread to his body. He tried to clear his mind but his old hate crush on Daishou had other ideas. 

“Switch!”

Tetsurou collapsed against the wall in relief. A distraction from his desire and Daishou. 

Boy, was he wrong.

“Gimme your shirt,” Daishou demanded.

“What? No,” Tetsurou squawked. 

Daishou rolled his eyes. “I’m not after seeing you naked.” His hungry look said otherwise but Tetsurou could reciprocate. “But your shirt is green and so are my pants.”

Tetsurou knew his pants were green. He had been admiring Daishou’s ass in them as they walked to the dorm. 

“Fine,” Tetsurou snapped. He ripped off his shirt and flung it in Daishou’s face. 

“Fucking rude,” Daishou spluttered. He ripped the shirt off his face and eyed Tetsurou’s chest. “Nice to know you finally got it.” He raised a hand to touch Tetsurou’s top surgery scars but stopped, dropping his hand just centimeters from his skin. Tetsurou felt his body lean forward, yearning for that touch.

Tetsurou smiled. Daishou made some decency in him. Buried deep inside under layer upon layers of sass, self-esteem issues, and ego. Like a really moody, narcissistic onion. But it existed.

Daishou pulled off his own shirt and handed it to Tetsurou with a look that said, “this is how you hand someone a shirt, you snappy asshole.”

They had barely redressed themselves when someone burst through the door.

“The RA on call is down the hall! Abort!”

A collective yikes later, everyone was running down the back stairwell, drinks forgotten in fear of getting written up. They spilled into the parking lot, laughing with adrenaline and relief. 

“That means our next stop is busted, too,” Leg said. He had silver hair right?

The crowd groaned and some started to leave. Leg look really disappointed and his short friend patted him on the back. It was quite a feat because they had almost a two-foot height difference. 

“We could play volleyball,” Daishou suggested. Tetsurou whipped around to stare at him. “I have keys to the gym.”

“Yes!” Leg fistpumped and his short friend kicked his ass. “Lead the way!”

“You ready for a good ol’ fashioned, _friendly, honest, and innocent_ game of volleyball?” Daishou murmured. His tone dripped with more saccharine every word. 

Tetsurou leaned down and whispered into his ear, “There’s nothing honest or innocent about you, Suguru.”

Daishou jerked back, red filling his face. He coughed and turned away. Tetsurou hummed in victory and smirked all the way to the gym.

Daishou unlocked the side door and their small group filed in. The lights flickered on and someone lowered the net from the ceiling. 

“Teams!” Leg called. “Divide yourselves.”

Daishou grinned at Tetsurou and slunk to the other side of the net. 

“Just like usual, huh?” Tetsurou muttered.

As one would think, drunken volleyball doesn’t go very well. People tripped and missed balls, spiked and served into the net. Only Tetsurou and Daishou were sober enough to play a decent game. (Not that Daishou’s game is ever decent because of his dirty cheating but his skills are fantastic.) (You what else is fantastic? His thighs.)

A half hour later, they decided to call it quits. People were too drunk and tired to continue. Tetsurou snorted. _Newbs._

“I think I might go wash up,” Daishou said, pretending to flick sweat off his forehead. He wasn’t even out of breath.

Tetsurou stepped up to him, keeping pace as they walked to the locker room. His lower half was stirring with the implications already.

“Did you have fun with your dirty tricks?” Tetsurou asked breezily as they stepped through the door. 

Daishou whipped around and grabbed his collar. “Do you want me to show you some other dirty tricks I know?” he murmured into Tetsurou’s ear. He bit his earlobe before continuing, voice raspy. “You might enjoy these ones, little innocent kitty.”

Tetsurou’s brain short circuited and any snarky response died before it was formed. He pushed Daishou against the wall and pressed their lips together. Daishou’s fingers slid into his hair while Tetsurou’s arms fell to his waist. Daishou opened his mouth, tugging on Tetsurou’s hair to pull his closer. The feel of his bifurcated tongue against his own, running across his lips and mouth, was nothing like Tetsurou could have even imagined. 

“How long have you wanted to do this?” Tetsurou gasped as Daishou kissed down his jaw and neck.

“As long as you have,” Daishou muttered against Tetsurou’s skin. His warm exhale flowed over Tetsurou’s skin, leaving goose bumps. 

“Could’ve fooled me all these years,” Tetsurou said. He kneaded his hands into Daishou’s waist, lifting up his shirt, _Tetsurou’s shirt_ , to touch more skin. 

“I’d say the same about you.” Daishou bit his shoulder, eliciting a muffled groan from Tetsurou. 

Tetsurou ran his hands up Daishou’s stomach and chest, ghosting over the hard muscles and feeling his pants. “Couldn’t you feel the sexual tension every time we fought?” he asked, kissing Daishou’s neck.

“Yeah, in my fucking dick,” Daishou snarled with a gasp as Tetsurou sucked on his skin. “Thought I was fucked up but I guess you just had an easier time hiding boners.”

Tetsurou gave a breathy laugh. “You’re still as blunt as ever,” he commented as mildly as he could. 

“No sense in wasting words with you,” Daishou said before kissing Tetsurou. 

Tetsurou ran his hands across Daishou’s back, exploring all he could without breaking the kiss. He pulled their hips against each other, Daishou sighing through his nose in pleasure. Daishou tugged on the back of Tetsurou’s shirt, bunching it in his hands. Tetsurou took the message and pulled back just long enough to take off his shirt. He flung it across the locker room. He could get it later. 

Breathless, Daishou pulled away. His lips were red and shiny from their kisses. He looked almost relaxed, if not incredibly lewd. In the moment of respite, Tetsurou quickly palmed Daishou. His gasp of shock was quickly overtaken by a moan. Smirking, Tetsurou uses his other hand to pull of his shirt. 

Daishou had barely stabilized to the touching before Tetsurou started kissing down his chest. He covered one of his nipples with his lips, giving it an experimental lick. He used his other hand to play with Daishou’s other nipple, reveling in Daishou’s moans. He pressed his legs together, shifting as he tried to get some friction himself. 

“I can’t be the only one looking so wrecked,” Daishou gasped. In retaliation, he kneed Tetsurou’s legs apart and put one leg between them. He bucked his hips, rubbing his bulge into Tetsurou’s crotch. The touch was weak but Tetsurou was frustrated with the lack of contact and groaned into the grinding. 

Tetsurou’s competitive streak with Daishou bubbled up. He wasn’t going to let Daishou break him down first. Tetsurou let Daishou’s nipples go to kiss him. He ran his hands along his waistband until he reached the zipper. Biting Daishou’s bottom lip, he undid the closure and stuck his hand in Daishou’s boxers. Daishou moaned into their kiss as Tetsurou slowly stroked him. 

“Fuck, Kuroo, move faster,” Daishou complained. 

“Call me by my given name,” Kuroo sang, purposefully slowing down.

“Fuck you,” Daishou spat. 

Tetsurou gently bit the skin between Daishou’s neck and shoulder and repeated his question. Daishou explicitly told _Kuroo_ what to do with his hands. Tetsurou bit Daishou and sucked on the spot, pulling back to watch it turn red. His other hand pinched his nipple. 

Daishou bucked his hips and moaned loudly. “F- fucking Christ, fuck fine, touch me _Tetsurou_ ,” he conceded with a gasp. 

Tetsurou responded immediately. He stroked Daishou while kissing him. He felt precum leaking as he settled into a rhythm. Daishou clawed at his back as he gasped. 

“T- Tetsurou,” Daishou gasped. He pressed his hands weakly against Tetsurou’s shoulders. He hissed through his clenched teeth. “I’m gonna-“

Tetsurou took his hand off Daishou’s dick before he could finish the sentence. Daishou’s moan of desire turned into a hiss of displeasure that echoed in the locker room. 

“What the fuck, Tetsurou,” he growled. “I’m so fucking close, how could you stop?”

Tetsurou laughed. “You just look so hot when you’re melting in my hands like that. I couldn’t let it end,” he purred. His own lower regions ached and he could feel his wet underwear sticking to himself but Daishou's blissed out and blushing face was too good for him to let it go away so fast. 

“Fuck you, Tetsurou,” Daishou hissed. He flipped their positions and pushed Tetsurou against the wall. He unzipped the skirt and pulled it over Tetsurou’s hips. Daishou yanked his boxers down, letting both articles flop the ground.

“Please do,” Tetsurou responded. 

“Let’s see how you like it,” Daishou said, smirking spreading across his face. Tetsurou wasn’t sure if he felt more worried or turned on. 

Daishou sunk to his knees and braced his hands against Tetsurou’s hips. He kneaded the thin fat there while he kissed down Tetsurou’s stomach and hips. 

“Fuck, just do it,” Tetsurou ordered. The throbbing in his crotch was growing unbearable. 

Daishou laughed, breath ghosting over Tetsurou’s hypersensitive skin. Daishou planted his mouth high on the inside of Tetsurou’s thigh and sucked. Tetsurou whined in exasperation and tried to close his legs. 

“No, no,” Daishou sang as he pushed them apart. 

“Stop being such a tease, _Suguru_.” The order lost its power when Tetsurou’s voice cracked from desire. The back of his head hit the wall with a _thunk._

Daishou hummed into his thigh, lips centimeters from where Tetsurou wants them. “You curious how my tongue will feel?” he asked as if talking about tomorrow’s weather.

Tetsurou jutted out his hips as a response. He was ready to think of a snarky response when Daishou covered his clit with his mouth and sucked. Tetsurou felt his knees shake and buckle as he keened with pleasure. Daishou held him up and gave long, slow licks. He used the two ends of his tongue to flick Tetsurou’s clit before continuing with the gentle sucking. Tetsurou was gasping and arching against him with the perfect ministrations. 

Tetsurou’s eyelids sink almost closed and he wants to sink into the extraordinary feeling but he doesn’t want to end the view of Daishou lapping at him. Between broad licks and perfect little flicks, Tetsurou feels like he’s going to come any second. 

“Suguru, fuck, _yes_ ,” he moans, hands knotting in Daishou’s hair. 

Daishou hummed in question against Tetsurou’s clit and that was it for him. He came with a cut off whine and heaving gasps. Daishou kept licking, stretching out his climax until Tetsurou was almost dizzy. He collapsed against the wall, trying to catch his breath. 

“Hey wait,” Daishou said. “That wasn’t my plan.”

Tetsurou cracked open his eyes and grinned. “A miscalculation by the conniving snake? Guess I’m first again.”

Daishou looked almost lost for a second, like a chicken that broke its egg. It was a ridiculous look with his hair so disheveled and split and cum glistening on his pink lips. 

Tetsurou leaned forward and kissed Daishou, hands cupping his face. Tugging at his bottom lip, Tetsurou’s slowly pulled back. “Unlike you,” he said with a growing smirk. “I don’t need a recuperation period.”

Daishou scanned his face before smirking. “Do you have a condom?” he asked.

Tetsurou looked around for his pants. He slapped himself in the face. “I _had_ one,” he groaned in annoyance. “In the pants I traded with some chick at the first house.”

Daishou snorted. “Dumbass. However.” He slid his hands around Tetsurou’s waist, kneading him. “That’s not the only way we can do this.”

“What do you have in mind?” Tetsurou asked as Daishou kissed his shoulder. He could feel the sticky wetness between his legs cooling uncomfortably.

Tetsurou felt Daishou’s hand dance across his hips and sink lower. He gave a few experimental rubs to Tetsurou’s clit. He gasped, curling into Daishou. The sensation neared overstimulation but still incredibly pleasurable. Tetsurou groped Daishou’s ass before sliding his hand to his dick. Daishou sighed loudly, resting his head on Tetsurou’s shoulder. Their hands brushed each other in their separate ministrations. 

Just as Tetsurou was able to sink into the wondrous feeling, his eyes drifting shut, Daishou stopped. He opened his mouth to complain but moaned loudly instead when Daishou inserted a finger. 

“Fuck, Suguru, you could’ve at least warned me,” Tetsurou said, panting as Daishou pumped his finger. 

Daishou shrugged. His smirk melted into dazed bliss when Tetsurou pressed his head, spreading the precum around. 

Suddenly Daishou removed his finger, drawing a long whine from Tetsurou. He was dripping so much he was worried it might get on the borrowed skirt. He pressed his legs together before Daishou had fully removed his hand, trapping it with his thighs. It took all his strength to stabilize his weakened legs enough to hold Daishou there. 

Daishou stuck out his tongue, wagging the separate ends independently, and easily removed his hand. Not breaking eye contact, he bought his hand up and pressed a finger against Tetsurou’s lips. Tetsurou glared but drew in a finger, licking and sucking on it. He could taste himself. Daishou’s dick twitched with desire in his hand. He slowly pumped it, adding more fingers in his mouth. 

He could hear Daishou’s breathing stagger and his eyes dart to look at the lewd image, Adam’s apple bobbing with his swallowing. Tetsurou pushed away one hand and brought up Daishou’s other hand, kissing the tip of each finger before licking up them. All fingers sufficiently coated in saliva, Tetsurou let Daishou go. 

Daishou jerked his head away, chest heaving and face redder. Tetsurou smirked victoriously. 

“Stop gloating and turn around,” Daishou order, voice hoarse. 

Tetsurou did as he was told, shaking his butt tauntingly. Daishou nudged his legs together and rubbed his hands between them, the saliva mixing with the wetness from Tetsurou’s crotch.

“That’s so fucking gross,” Tetsurou said, leaning against the wall.

“I don’t suppose that chick left some lube in her skirt?” Daishou commented, sugar sweet.

“Fuck you.”

“Isn’t that what we’re here for?” 

“Fuck your logic.”

“I’d rather fuck you.”

Tetsurou colored and hid his face. “Just get on with it,” he muttered.

Daishou chuckled. “The scheming cat was outdid this time, huh?”

Tetsurou wished he could give Daishou another hickey or kiss him properly to shut him up. Instead, he settled from groping his ass, nails raking across the skin. 

Daishou huffed and inserted his dick between Tetsurou’s thighs. It was a strange feeling but, judging by Daishou’s gasp, it did its job. Tetsurou squeezed his thighs together tightly, enjoying the little moans and pants Daishou made as he started thrusting. Daishou reached around and rubbed Tetsurou’s clit, hands shaky and uncoordinated. It kept Tetsurou from getting overstimulated, quickly building him back up. He felt his pants speed up as Daishou rubbed him faster

“Come on, Tetsurou,” Daishou hissed. “Are you going to come for me?”

Surprisingly he did. Who knew he had such a sub kink? He came silently, inhaling sharply until his throat and body locked up. Daishou gave a few more messy thrusts before coming with a loud keen. 

Daishou rested on Tetsurou’s back. The weight was too much and Tetsurou felt too tired and fawn-legged to keep them both up. He sat down, kicking aside the clothing. No need to sully them like his body. 

“Guess it’s time to wash off that sweat from that honest, innocent fun, huh?”


	2. The Reveal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ????¿¿¿¿¿¿¿??????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuck me sideways across town for writing this
> 
> only read if u enjoy bullfuckery

Tetsurou woke with a start. Bright lights, a loud crowd, a cold metal bench under his back. _What the-_

“Kuro.”

Tetsurou turned his head and pain shot threw it. Kenma blurred into view, concerned expression on his delicate face.

“What happened?” Tetsurou’s mouth felt full of cotton. He spit to the side and a bundle of blood soaked cotton splat on the floor. 

“Daishou spiked into your face,” Yaku said. “You were out like a light.”

Daishou? Volleyball? But didn’t they just have hot sex…? 

Was it just a dream?

Tetsurou looked down and saw a boner tenting in his shorts.

“I don’t even have a dick!” echoed in the stadium.

**Author's Note:**

> glad that's out of my system
> 
> hmu on tumblr @hipster-yams


End file.
